There exist many great challenges for missionaries who leave their family, church, and country to serve Jesus internationally. In Bible college I had a class called "Crosscultural Communication". I remember learning a lot of things in that class and other classes like it like "Cultural Anthropology" Thankfully these courses helped prepare me for an intercontinental ministry, but I never could have anticipated the great challenges that lay ahead in my endeavor to make Chilean disciples of Christ. One of those challenges is that the culture where I labor is nothing like the very specific environment where I learned how to minister to the lost and to Christians: Pomona, CA. One of the areas where I felt the effect of this disconnect is the area of pastoral visits. An important part of pastoral ministry is making home visits. In Theodore Cuyler's How to Pastor, we learn that "a house-going pastor makes a church-going people." When I learned how to make these visits, the model that I observed and adopted was to stop in to several homes the same evening or afternoon. This usually lead to a 20 or 30 minute visit. In American culture this isn't weird nor is it offensive. On the contrary, if you stay too long, especially for an unsolicited visit, it is very easy to wear our your welcome. I made the mistake of assuming that things would be the same here in Coyhaique.
When I began ministry in Patagonia and I would make home visits, about 15 or 25 minutes into the visit I would get the itch that it was about time to make my escape. Of course I was sincere in my desire to make a good visit, but I was sincerely wrong in the way I was going about it. For our first year here I made each visit as fast as I could. People would offer me food or drink and in an attempt to be polite I would say "no thanks". When they would insist I'd make up and excuse like, "Annie is making me dinner and if I come home full then she's going to make me sleep in the doghouse." In a desire to be courteous I was coming off as rude and rejecting their hospitality. This closed doors and hindered me from developing relationships.
I no longer visit like that.
These days a shorter visit lasts about 2 hours. As I make visits most nights, it is not uncommon for them to last longer than 4 hours. A few months ago I was talking with some of the folks from our church and the length of my visits came up. I was just talking about it casually, but when they weighed in I realized what an important lesson there was to be learned! You see, I used to visit this same family during that first year, and now they are part of our church and now I have been discipling them weekly for several months. They experienced both my early visits and my current visits. When we were talking they laughed and mumbled something that I didn't understand, and they apparently didn't want to repeat it. When I persisted they said, "We used to joke that pastor's visits were doctor's visits." Confused, I asked what they meant and they politely said, "When you see a doctor it is always a very short visit." I began to think about the times I have seen doctors here and realized that those visits were usually cold, distant, fast, and often lack any semblance of courtesy. This is a serious problem. I can understand why a doctor's visit would go that way, the doctor sees the person as a task to get through. But pastors are not doctors, and the people we minister to are not just an errand on a list of things to get done.
The dining room table has proven to be one of my most effective tools for both evangelism and discipleship. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned in the last three years since I arrived to Patagonia is the following: from the pulpit I am their preacher, but at the table I am their pastor. It is in those moments where we tarry long pouring over the Scriptures, praying together, laughing, eating, drinking (tea, coffee, juice, mate, etc.) when I have become people's pastor. I learn their needs, their hurts, their victories, their failure...it is where I love, I teach, and I listen. Many people have doubts and questions about the Bible that they would never share in a public meeting of the church, but they would love to ask the pastor in their home.
I was so mistaken in our earlier days here and I didn't even realize it! I am not saying that in American culture pastors are doing things wrong by making short visits. What I am trying to say is that Chileans are different from Americans, and furthermore Chilean Patagonians are different from the rest of Chileans. Ministry is about become all things to all men so that you might by some means win some.
I would exhort any new missionaries, or missionaries who are preparing to leave for the field to soak up everything they can in their training in their local church, but also to be prepared to custom tailor that model on their respective field. Study the people in your new home so that you can bring them to the feet of Jesus and teach them how to follow Him.
I love where I live and minister and I am growing and learning everyday. Pray for us.
